Unfriended Friend

I still remember the first time I spoke with her. It was on a phone call.

A call from an unknown number, I picked it up, “Hello!”

“Rajesh?” unusual sweet voice that uttered my name

“Yes” (With a smile on my face)

“Hi Rajesh, This is Sneha……”

That is how our conversation started..

Her English was impeccable that I thought how I am going to interact with her when I meet her. I was all along managing with my elementary English. On contrary, her heavy accented English was so natural that I feared talking to her.

The D-day arrived. I walked into the hall and shook hands with her.

“Hi Sneha, Epadi irukeenga” which means Hi Sneha, How are you. I was deliberate in using my native tamil language in the fear of matching up to her proficient English skills.

“Semmaya irukaen rajesh” came the reply in a flash. Her native tamil broke the ice and soon we bonded.

From being strangers, to acquaintance to friends.. Our relationship was moving up the chain. We were at ease with each other and our talks broke the chain of formalities. We spoke everything under the sun. We agreed to disagree on many topics & talked at length on Music, Movies and books. We could easily connect with each other.

Soon we became the envy of our environment. Sneha & I were thickest of friends and believed that no force can separate us. That is when something happened. Something terrible happened.

WE FOUGHT. A molehill turned into a mountain and the mudslinging was happening at full throttle. Egos’ were full blown.  Sneha & I stopped talking. Not for hours, not for days but months together.

I used to talk to her Watsapp DP thinking as though she will talk back. It was painful to see her online yet not to hear a word from her.

Sneha used to say, “If I can stay not talking to you for a week, I can stay not talking to you for lifetime”.

I didn’t take her words seriously. How can one fight break the strong bonds of friendship that was cemented all these years?, I thought.

She was right. I realized she could go without talking to me for lifetime. The castle was crumbling infront of my eyes and I wondered what I can do to save it.

I watsapp-ed her.. the blue tick never appeared,

I called her several times. Her phone was busy. The least I expected was her call back.

Today I went through her facebook profile.

I looked at her Profile picture, how could she happily smile without talking to me? A thought engulfed me.

I looked into her eyes that once pulled me towards her,

I looked at her lips, words that emanated through it promised to never leave me stranded,

And her smile.. That big smile today signalled that she was better off without me..

I moved my cursor in search of the “Like” button. For some strange reasons it was missing. I flipped through the older pictures. With every refresh the “Like” & “Comment” button vanished.

I went to her profile page. What I saw hurt me so much.

It said, “Add Friend”

So my best friend Sneha has actually unfriended me.

Hmm… Words were hard to come by and I’m short of words to express it here too

“I wished that someday we clear our misunderstandings. We have done it before. Why can’t it work now?” I quipped to myself

More than anything, the feeling of not wanted hurt me so much. It is the worst for someone to go through.

I had an urge to send her a friend request but knowing Sneha I know she has moved miles in life and the best gift that I could give at the moment is some peace of mind.

If my absence is what will make her happy, it’s my duty to give it to her for my unconditional love towards her is real

Wherever you go, whatever you do..you will be cherished Sneha.

I will not remember you henceforth for I have not forgotten you in the first place.

Life without speaking to you, listening to you & feeling you is going to be very difficult but like you always say, LIFE HAS TO MOVE ON…

Never leave a Phone call unattended...

I saw her lying in the bed.. She was draped in green nightwear, her hair was dry, dark circles around her eyes was so dark that seemed like she hadn't slept for so many days.. A black magnetic band was placed around her head to make the nerves relax & put her into deep sleep.

She would take months to recover from her depression..

With tears filled in my eyes, I walked down the corridor of the hospital praying for Rani’s recovery.

I wondered how if only he had picked her call she wouldn't have to go through all of this..

{1 month before}

Rani, calm, level headed girl was full of life. Anyone would mistake her silent introverted nature to arrogance. She would hang out with her friends, share the LOL moments but deep down she knew no one was close to her except Ravi.

She had enough of people who would fake a smile, flower praises for sake of it and shower endearments as long as she was around. She hated it.. hated it for all the smiles, praises and endearments weren’t manifested into action.

She was right too. Most of her calls were unanswered and all her messages didn't elicit any response from people whom mattered the most to her.

She would blurt out her feelings to ravi. Ravi would pacify her saying, “Everything is going to be alright”. At times he would put up a case to play a balancing act and explain how other person was busy that they didn’t pick his call too.

But deep down Ravi knew what their mutual friends did was not right. A call back (or) message reply is the least she expected. Ravi knew Rani was expecting too much from her friends for whom she matter nothing. He was afraid to say that to rani for he didn’t want to hurt her tender heart.

The disappointments were slowly building up rani’s heart and mind.

On a bad day which turned out to be quite often, she called her friends but no one responded. She tried to message her friends but as she was about to do it, she stumbled upon her innumerable messages that were never answered from her friends.

She stared at their name on her mobile phone and choked.

Don’t I deserve even a call back? Am I not worth that too? (Questions lingered in her mind)

She called Ravi to tell how she felt..

Ravi who had by now had enough of rani’s rants choose not to pick her call this time. She called several times but ravi didn’t relent.

That was like the last straw on the camel’s back. She cried, yelled “pick my call ravi” and fainted..

She was so loud that her parents rushed to her room and took her to a hospital.

Today Rani is being treated for Acute Depressive Disorder.

I wondered how if only he had picked her call she wouldn’t have to go through all of this..

I came out of the hospital with sweaty eyes promising myself that I would never leave a phone call (or) message unattended for it may save someone’s life…

Love, Lust and a Child

The evening was the best..

Dark clouds, droplets of rain water rolling down the slanting red tiles, cool breeze accompanied by the fresh aroma of mother earth..Supriya was enjoying the evening with a cup of freshly brewed filter coffee with her best friend Rekha.

The conversation between them criss-crossed so many topics.. Over the conversation, Rekha could guess not all is well with Supriya.. She sensed something was seriously wrong behind the serene looking face..

Supriya resisted initially, finally relented.. She told Rekha about the unplanned pregnancy and the effects this child could have on her life…

Rekha immediately shouted, “Stop it! Never ever say anything more Supriya.. The child in your womb is hearing everything you are saying. You have no idea that all the words you say today will affect the child’s life”

With all the right she had over the friendship Rekha asked Supriya, “Is this child out of love (or) lust?”

Supriya was dumbstuck. She was blank..she didn’t expect this coming.. Slowly her eyes turned red, tears filled her eyes.. She couldn’t speak but she nodded her head in denial... and rushed back into her house….

That night as she went into sleep, Rekha’s words were lingering in her mind?

“Is this child out of love (or) lust?”

“Is this child out of love (or) lust?”

“Is this child out of love (or) lust?”

Slowly she went into sound sleep yet the question was still lingering.. the little baby in the fetus picked up all that her mother had been speaking and child in the womb had this question…

Am I a result of love (or) lust?... the little one started to speak.

“Am I a result of love (or) lust?…that will determine how I get to live my life..

Resting in this dark room inside my mother’s womb, I have heard my mother talk about how she was raised by her parents, my grandparents.

My grandparents moved to Canada where grandpa worked as a pilot. Inspite of work schedule, travel and trouble times they never gave excuses in raising their child. When it came to making a choice between child (and) career, grandma chose the former because even as a young parent she gave more importance to raising the child than raising money. She never had a nanny because she believed nothing could substitute what a mother could offer her child.” said fetus adjusting itself to restricted space within the uterus.

“They doted on their only girl child. Grandpa’s first addiction was his child. Second addiction was alcohol. I have heard that Grandpa used to drink everyday inspite of sermons from his wife. At times, the sermons of my grandma were so frustrating that he drank more.

One day, my mother as a little girl saw her dad stumble & struggle to reach his room. He puked all over the place. It took lot of effort to put him on bed. Next Morning, on demand from his daughter he promised he would stop drinking. She never believed him and thought alcoholics always lie.

But grandpa didn’t. He kept his words.

One day my mother as a little girl asked her dad, “Daddy, How is that you stopped drinking after you promised me?”

Looking into her eyes he replied, “Angel, a real man will always make his child happyJ”

Tears rolled down their eyes as they hugged each other…

As it spoke the fetus was moved so much by grandfather’s words that it moved its hands & legs to the slight discomfort of its mother.

Slowly settling down the fetes continued speaking, “I envied my mother for having loving parents, who did everything to make their child happy.

Sure, my grandparents made love to love their daughter for life time.

For the 8 months I have been in this womb, I believed that all parent child relationships are hunky dory until I learnt about the heart wrenching story of Tinu.

Tinu, 6  years old kid was rescued from a cage underneath the staircase of his house. He was rescued but his survival chances are minimal. Without proper food he was skinny, all his back vertebrates and bones were visible, bruises were found all over his body.

Tinu’s parents well learned people belonging to upper society had caged their son ever since he was diagnosed with Autism, a condition with impaired social interactions and Verbal & Nonverbal communication. Tinu’s mother didn’t feed him what’s considered to be the most important food for any child, for reasons best known to her. Without minimal parental care he was dying everyday.

Tinu was suffering for the lust of two individual person of opposite sex.

What about the plight of other children who are suffering for no fault of theirs?

Chandra selling peanuts in beach, Rajee selling soft cloth in the scorching heat and little Samuel who is begging at railway station

Surely, these children are victims of Neglected parenting.. or should I say victims of parental pleasure?

Most of these children are raised by a single parent (or) their grandparents. Their dad (or) mom (sometimes both in their respective direction) left home to marry someone leaving their children to suffer. How cruel life could get for the little ones? They are being punished for no fault of theirs.

Sitting in this dark room in my mother’s womb and hearing such stories scares me. I fear coming into the real world.

Will I be raised like a princess (or) left alone to sell soft cloth.. may be my upbringing may throw more light into this.. until then this question will keep lingering in my mind…

Am I a result of love (or) lust?” said the fetus with its eyes rolling down with tears.

As a reader, you may be a child, newly married couple, loving father, doting mother (or) anyone for that matter, I want you to know that all that you say & do has an adverse impact on your loved one’s life.

Today you have a choice, you can be like those lovely grandparents who doted on their child (or) make the life of your loved ones miserable…

I would like to leave you with a note that I read in my mail today morning, “IT TAKES 2 MINUTES TO MAKE LOVE AND A LIFETIME TO PROVE YOUR LOVE”

Life Lesson from the Coffin

Date: 4^th January 2013

Place: St. Mary’s Cemetery

Joseph, 70 year old man died of Cancer. All were standing around the coffin. Absolute silence engulfed the place. After offering flowers, near & dear one’s of Joseph closed their eyes to pray one last time for the departed soul.

As the prayer went on, John, Joseph’s Son had a strange feeling of someone patting his arms.

He opened his eyes and couldn’t believe what he saw. His dad, Joesph cladded in white suit was talking to him. He first yelled but no one could hear him except his dad..

“Son, I have never spent time with you yet I have a piece of advice to make your life beautiful.. Lend me your ears for sometime son..this is the last chance I have to speak to you“ said Joseph

“Born into a close knit family and being the only son, my dad & mom doted on me. Everything I desired was offered. Even during the hard days, they would move a mountain to give what I desired. They loved me so much. I loved my parents too for they went extra mile to keep me happy but I never expressed my love to them. During my years in high school I was introduced to Smoke, Drink & Stuff’s by the bad company. What started as a cool stuff soon became addictive. One day, while I was injecting myself with Cannabis, my mother tried stopping me. I couldn’t explain how much I wanted it. I pleaded her, I begged her, I warned her, she resisted...... I broke her head with a Beer bottle.

She collapsed. Soon she was on a pool of blood. I was petrified. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I ran away from that place for the fear of being prisoned.  That night I sat by the riverside & cried for the act I just committed. Did I kill the person I loved the most? What pained me even more was I never took a chance to explain them what they (parents) mean to me.

Years passed by and I found yet another Addiction, Your Mother’s love. When everybody chooses to see the bad in me she saw the good. One look into her eyes, I melted away son. If you are seeking a wife just like your mother, forget it! She was the best and not replaceable J.  Best part about her was she never put restrictions on me. I was still the bad ass who smoked weed and came home drunk. Yet she never complained. Instead she did something phenomenal. Day by day, Month by month she increased the dosage of love. I loved her but was always short of words & actions to express my love. You don’t believe it but I was made that way.

When you visit home for holidays, I wanted to take you out may be for a movie (or) weekend cycling (or) a walk by the riverside. But I never had the courage to ask you for it. We were never in talking terms for a long time and I admit that my ego never let me do want I wanted to do. The love for you was eclipsed by my God-Damn Ego.

You may think why I am rambling all these things to you today. Lying in the coffin listening to the words of praise you all have for me, I only wish I had a chance in real to tell you how much I love you all” said Joseph with tearing rolling down his eyes.

Joseph stopped for a moment, wiped his tears and continued,

“Up in heaven I will tell my Mum how much I loved her,

I will tell my wife how she is the best and will express all my love,

But today I want you to know this “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SON”

John, I haven’t left anything for you to inherit but I will be more than happy if you realize that “In Life, When you Love someone, it is better to show them your love than telling them”. This act of showing your love will change your life remarkably, this act of showing your love will result in strong relationship, and this act of showing your love will result in a world which is far better to live in.

Love you.. God bless You!

When do you realize a Person's worth?

I was waiting in the airport today to pick up one my good friend from Sri Lanka. The flight was delayed and just when I wondered how the next 30 minutes is going to go, I was lucky to witness one of the touchy moments in a person’s life.. This blog is all about capturing that intimate relationship between a Mother and her son.

Time: 8:45 AM

A lady in her early fifties, moderately built, draped in a green saree was anxiously glancing at the arrival schedules.. She was keenly waiting for her son’s arrival.

After her husband’s death, she had toiled hard to raise her son. Her life revolved around him. She saved every single penny to muster enough money to raise her son and fund his foreign education.

Now, It’s been two years since her son went abroad to complete his education. He is coming home to see his mother before boarding another flight to some other part of this world for work.

As time went by, the single mother was restless. She was in no mood to wait to see her son. Finally the most sought after moment became a reality. Her son stepped out of the airport in Jeans & T. Shirt. Seeing him after 2 years, she was all smiles. I could see a shine in her face. The son came out, Mother reached out. Both looked into each other’s eyes. A Deep silence prevailed. She spread her arms & hugged him tight. The hug was so tight that nothing could pass between them..not even air.. I was witnessing the sense of pride in the mother’s eyes & equally elated son. For the next 5 minutes, no words were uttered yet they spoke the unspoken language..LOVE… The overwhelmed mother kissed him on his forehead & cheeks. They moved towards the car holding each other’s hands..

Being a witness to this sight, I wondered what makes that Mother  & Son relationship special. There may be various reason but something that immediately stuck me was ”DISTANCE” . In relationship, at times we take the other person for granted, not realizing their true value unless they leave us. Husband & Wife, Parents & Children (or) any other relationship, I think at times distance is what makes us realize the value of a person. The days spent without them, the hours spent thinking about them and minutes spent with them keep reminding us about how much he/she is worth. Needless to say, It is only in the absence of people we realize their worth.

If you have come this far, then I have only this to say. Get in touch with your kith n kin, loved ones who mean a lot to you.. wherever they are, any country it may be, call them and the tell them what that Single Mother whispered into her son’s ears, “I LOVE YOU”.. because it is only in the absence of our loved one’s we realize their worth.

Why you don’t get the right Talent - A Must read for HR

Jagan had interviewed more than 30 candidates for a HR position. Either the candidates were not shortlisted or those shortlisted didn’t join the organization. Jagan was under tremendous pressure since the position has been vacant for more than 3 months.

Jagan is not the only one who goes through frustrating times in the process of identifying right talent. The war for talent is unprecedented and organizations’ today go all out to win the war. Today the opportunity cost of a critical position lying vacant is very high. However what Jagan like executives forget is that they are one of the reasons for not having quality talent in an organization.

In my 7 years of corporate experience in recruiting talent, here are few mistakes that recruiters make that I feel hinder a person from joining a company.

1.    Setting the bar toooo high

      The basic requirements listed in a job posting to perform a job have become very stringent & complex that not many people even qualify for applying a job. The requirements are of varied nature, be it qualification, experience, domain knowledge, specialized skills or all of them.

Recruiters should identify and look for 2 (or) 3 factors that would determine the success of a candidate in a role rather than expecting the candidate to meet 10 out of 10 criteria which is impossible for the majority.

2.    Intolerance to Grossly right answers

What if a candidate says, gravitational constant is 9.81 m/s instead of 9.81 m/s² ? What if a candidate says value of “Pi” is 3.2 instead of 3.14?

While the answers are wrong, I am of the opinion that these small mistakes can definitely be corrected and should not be the sole reason for rejecting the candidates. While perfect answers are great, never underestimate those who get the grossly right answers too. One more chance may get the best out of them.

3.   Keeping the candidate waiting endlessly

    This is something many candidates go through. Organizations call the candidates for the interview more than once to attend various levels of interview. After patiently attending all the rounds, candidates are left     without any feedback. Trust me this is so frustrating.

If a candidate clears all the rounds, then decision should be made as soon as possible so as to get the talent aboard. Remember, an active job seeker looks for opportunities in more than one company. Organizations need to be quick in decision making to stay competitive in Manpower Recruitment. 

     

So dear recruiters, the next time you interview someone take utmost care in identifying critical success factors that defines a roles success accept the grossly right answers and please do not make the candidate wait endlessly for the results.

Leadership nuggets from my Area Governor term

Serving as an “Area Governor”, Division N, District 82, Toastmasters International during 2012-2013 was the best thing that could happen to me. I learnt more about People Handling & Leadership skills in this one year than in my 6 years of corporate experience and my MBA times. Here I am penning down few leadership lessons I learnt much of which makes sense when I look back today.

1.    Embrace New members into your team

As a leader, I always wanted my “CLOSE FRIENDS” in my team so as to accomplish my tasks easily J. I thought I could Leverage each one’s Strengths to full effect in short time. However early into my term, I learnt one of the profound lessons in Leadership i.e. “As a Leader one has to embrace new people who exhibit complementary skill sets into their team”. Having new members into the team not only excites them but it also helps us to sharpen our leadership skills.

2.    Getting rid of Layers of Communication

I tried to bring in a formal layer of communication to interact with the club members of my Area. The main idea was to transcend the information without bypassing the layers in between. However I soon realized that if I had to bring in Initiatives & Innovations within the short period of one year, this formal layer is not going to do any good. “As a Leader one has communicate directly with the members so as to understand their needs & wants”

3.    Let the EGO Go

 

Everyone has the urge to be best. In the pursuit of being the best, leaders become obsessive about what they do. These are the times when leader’s Ego takes precedence. It is no longer about performing but PROVING TO THE WORLD that “I” am superior. Thanks to my mentors, members and well wishers who guided me and helped me from falling into this trap. I learnt that “As a leader one should let go of their EGO as along as team’s performance takes precedence”

 

4.    Find opportunities to appreciate people

 

Charles Schwab, legendary CEO of Bethlehem Steel was paid $ 1 Million as Salary during early 1900’s. It was a mind boggling compensation then (Infact for me even today ;) ) His mandate was to help the steel company recoup the losses and turn profitable. How did Charles do it? He travelled around the factories motivating people, appreciating them for their work. He turned the company profitable through appreciating people though he knew nothing technical about steel production. Appreciating people is a powerful tool in the hands of a leader. It takes big heart to appreciate others. I learnt from Charles Schwab that “As a leader, it is important to find opportunities to appreciate people. When you do this sincerely, you will see magic happen in your team”

 

5.    Back the Appreciation with Statistics

This is an extension of the earlier point about appreciating people. Appreciating people in a group also has its own disadvantages. While individual/group may be happy about being recognized for their work, others in the team may feel let down for not being recognized for their work.

Consider this: Club A has 80 members, having average attendance of 25 for a club meeting in the last 1 year. Club B has 50 members, having average attendance of 40.

If you were to institute an award for High attendance ratio, which club will you choose? Club B, Right? When you put forth the statistics to the audience it will cause less heartburn among the members/clubs/Areas.

“As a leader, any recognition should be backed by Statistics to cause less heartburn among members/clubs/Areas without any bias”

6.    Focus on the problem not person

“When the going gets tough, the leader gets tough with people :)”

When things go haywire, human beings gets wild with others. He/She tries to fix the person responsible, accuse them, make he/she feel guilty. But does this solve the problem?. Nope. The way a leader reacts to haywire situations brings out the real person in him. It also talks volumes about his/her maturity levels. Instead of accusing others, it will be wiser to understand the root cause, fix the issue first to avoid further crisis and at leisure help the volunteer understand the gravity of the issue, explain how it could have been done better & coach them to perform better. “As a leader, I learnt that during a crisis, it is wise to focus on the problem not person”

7.    Avoid Decision that will make you lose sleep

You are bound to make decisions as leader. It doesn’t matter whether your decisions turn out to be Good (or) Bad. That is irrelevant. Toastmasters is a place where you can “Fail Safetly”. You don’t have to feel bad if decisions go bad. But you need to be cautious that you don’t take decisions with prejudice. Many members ask me how to make decisions without prejudice. I would like to give this simple tip I learnt from a Stalwart in the Industry. “As a leader, I learnt that any decision that makes you to lose sleep is a biased decision”. If you can go to bed happily and wake up the next morning without any guilt of making a biased decision, you are on the right path.

8.    Prepare the team for Long term

A famous saying goes like, “Managers work for today, Leaders work for tomorrow”. The main objective of every Area Governor is to ensure his/her club achieve the “President’s Distinguished Status”, highest recognition given to any Area by Toastmasters International for Superior Performance during their tenure. While working towards this goal, an Area Governor should also work towards making the clubs in their area self-sustaining by nurturing leadership amongst members both within the clubs & Area. This requires constant communication with members, share the best practices, coach them, show them the opportunities available and most importantly make them believe that they can make wonders for their club. When you infuse the confidence in them you inspire them to perform better. “As a leader, I learnt that while short term goals are important, one should also work towards long term sustenance of the club”

This list is not exhaustive, I will keep penning down my thoughts as & when I connect the dots pertaining to my Area Governor term.

If you get a chance to serve as any club officer, Area Officer, Division Officer or District officer, I would urge you to take it and serve the movement that has given you a lot. Don’t have doubts about your leadership skills. You may not start great but you will definitely end Great. That is the MAGIC of TOASTMASTER J

Never Judge a Person by his/her Resume

A good Resume is a gateway for a candidate into an organization. In so many instances my inbox would be flooded with 100’s of resumes for a single position. The easiest way I choose to shortlist the candidates then were the following:

       > Educational Qualification,

       > Relevant Work Experience and

       > Present & Expected Salary  levels

With the above filter, my choice would reduce to a dozen resumes which will make my life simpler. This is the standard process I was introduced to and many industry recruiters follow this filter too. However let me now explain how I got this filter strategy wrong especially when handling Middle & Senior level position.

Educational Qualification:

To explain with an example, walk into an IT company, you will notice thousands of Civil Engineers & Electrical Engineers write programs. Most of them were not trained in Software (or) Computer code while joining the organization. How do they manage to do it? While the candidates bring the basic requirements of Analytical skills & logical understanding, software is industry specific skill where they are trained by their employers. It doesn’t matter what engineer you are, do you have it in you to perform the given task. That matters the most.

Lesson 1: The first lesson I learnt was to look beyond their educational qualification & see if a candidate has it in him/her to perform the job to expected levels.

Relevant Work Experience:

For Generalist roles like HR, Accounts, Finance and Sales it is not a crime to consider candidates from other sectors. Rigidity doesn’t help here. Having candidates with cross sector experience will bring in the best practices from other industry which can be tailor-made to suit our organization.

Lesson 2: The Second lesson I learnt is for non-specialized jobs, cast your net wide for a better catch.

Present & Expected Salary levels:

Consider this situation.

You are looking to recruit a Chartered Accountant for the post of DGM with 15 Yrs work Experience in all domains of Finance. Salary level you have fixed for this position is Rs. 20 Lakhs/Year. You stumble upon a candidate who is currently drawing Rs. 22 Lakhs/annum. What do you do?

In first glance, I would not consider his resume since it doesn’t meet my criteria.

However what if you understand after the interview, the candidate has the potential to fit in CFO shoe who is due for retirement in 2 years (or) can handle dual responsibilities of Finance & Secretarial. His resume is worth considering. Isn’t it? Many organizations recruit for the current opening without thinking if the candidate will suit for the future organizational requirements. If one fits for future requirements, then the premium we pay should not be a point of consideration.

This necessarily may not be a time tested technique. But this is a gamble that has paid rich dividends in my organization.

Lesson 3: For Senior positions, don’t just look into current scenario, see if the candidate will fit into the organization for future requirement.

Fellow recruiters and HR professionals, next time you go through a resume, remember that the Education, Experience and Salary levels are just like a cover of a book and as the saying goes, “Never judge a book by its Cover”

3 mistakes I made as an Evaluator

1.    Never speak on behalf of the audience

 

Evaluators often come up with following statements:

 

-          Audience understanding of your speech was crystal clear

-          Audience would have liked your speech if you added some humour in your speech

-          Audience would have heard your speech clearly if were a bit louder

As an evaluator, one’s evaluations should always be centered around YOUR opinion about the speech and not the audience opinion.

2.    Inducing irrelevant Humour

Making people laugh is an art and everybody tries their hand at it whenever they get stage time. I believe it is ok to try humour in a Prepared Speech (or) Table topics but definitely not during Evaluations especially if the humour is not connected to the speaker’s speech.

3.    Usage of Acronym

Evaluators tend to use ACRONYM to evaluate speeches. I’m listing below some of acronyms that I have come across:

-          C C C (Concept, Clarity, Conclusion)

-          T O P I C (Topic Selection, Organization of speech, Pause, Interest of audience, Conclusion)

I’m a big fan of such evaluations since the use of acronym helps the evaluator to highlight the various aspects of the speech that was done well and areas that need improvement.

However I see some evaluators forcibly use acronyms in their evaluations resulting in non-value addition to the speaker.

Hence it is advisable not to force push any acronyms into the evaluations.

So the next time you evaluate a speech, kindly avoid the above mistakes I made to make the speaker’s toastmasters journey fruitful.